WE ARE LIKE THAT ONLY...

We are like that only…

Souvenir 2006

The last few months have seen more than the usual action in Saheli, since we’ve been in the midst of documenting the history of Saheli over 25 years and trying to visualise an event to mark the occasion. In true Saheli tradition, the process began with much debate - “Should we use the word ‘celebration’?” “What do we have to celebrate when women are still being subjected to so much violence and injustice?” “Have we really been able to make any difference?” “Of course, we have lots to celebrate!” “Surviving 25 years is no joke!”

Soon, dusty Daily Diaries (DDs) and Minutes Books (MBs) began to be unearthed and all of us gasped at the monumental work that we had undertaken! Of course, we had to start by reading the ‘Bibles of Saheli history’: The First Four Years, and the ‘Souvenirs’ of 1988 and 1995, which encapsulate the work of Saheli at periodic intervals. We took a deep collective breath, rolled up our sleeves and plunged into reading reports of meetings, discussions, arguments over nothing and everything - the voices sometimes clashing with each other - heartache, joy, happiness, tears and laughter, all recorded in ink on yellowing paper. While going through the DDs and MBs, we swung between moments of great excitement as we discovered minutes of our first meetings, and great bewilderment as we read records of statements we didn’t remember having made and saw ourselves in positions we didn’t remember taking. But funny little entries in the DDs, jokes about ourselves and light exchanges kept us going, as we read about the times of lull and upheaval in Saheli with a heavy heart. At the same time, it made us realise that we have moved on, stronger in some ways, wiser in others. We felt the need to build bridges and re-connect with all the women who have come and gone. Putting an ever-expanding list of names together and realising that “Oh, she too was in Saheli!”… hoping we wouldn’t allow any name to slip out of our memories like sand through our fingers…

We would like to thank all the women who took time out from their busy lives to revisit the past (part painful, part joyous) and respond to our ‘wee reminders’ – women who welcomed us into their homes and offices to talk to us with a frankness and openness that reinforced our decision to embark on this complex journey. We also received overwhelming responses from other groups, forums and individuals whom we have formed alliances with and even from the ones we have been unable to align with on specific issues. In this document, we have used some excerpts from these ‘interviews’ and responses.

But while trying to put this document together, we have been faced with a million questions. “Should we use names of women while quoting them?” “What if their positions have changed since and the picture is not correctly represented?” Some of us felt that critical engagement with ideas is more important than names. We recognised the danger of pulling quotes out of context. Would we be making people too vulnerable? But the history of Saheli is our shared history, and we felt that we should just do our best to interpret this as truthfully and sensitively as possible. Eventually we decided to use names while quoting from the documents, for we felt that only this could capture the myriad voices in Saheli. The intention is not to project anyone in any particular way, but to try to bring out the collective nature and culture of Saheli, the strong stands on issues and engagement with events. In addition to this, there have been various other preoccupations. Questions are answered with more questions, so do we stop questioning? Stop answering?

What do we want to write about? Do we need to cover all the issues that we have worked on? Will we ever be able to capture Saheli’s history in 100-odd pages? Are we not solidifying our history by trying to put it on paper? How can we or anyone else ever do that – it’s not just one history but several histories; each woman who has stepped into Saheli has created one… we too are creating one from our collective viewfinder. Will we do justice to the document? Is the process currently good enough or do we need to put in more time? Have we included as many voices as possible?

We have tried our best, but no such document can meet everyone’s expectations. There has been so much positive contribution from so many of you. However, the responsibility for omissions and mistakes is all ours! We take the opportunity to thank all of you – friends, fellow-travellers, friendly critics and well-wishers, knowing that “thank you” is far from adequate. The process of bringing out this document has been enriching. It feels like we are on a train journey - the constant goings and comings of various Sahelis, standing by the window for a smoke or huddling together while eating, all the time hoping that we have been able to capture the essence of what makes us who we are. Friends who drop in and ask – why must we be so self critical?! …Because we are like that only.